Here we are, nine months after her and only now I’ve decided to start a blog. It’s amazing how far things can get away from you when you have a baby. I feel like I am just starting to reconvene a bit of my former self to my new self. Well, almost. I’m sure if you’ve had children you can relate. For a while, you’re in this baby bubble, where everything is baby baby baby, and then once that passes, you kind of wake up a bit, still fuzzy, and realize you aren’t sure how to blend the edges of who you were with this new identity as a mother.
For me, this was a bit tough at first. It’s not that I had any regrets, but I just didn’t know what happened to the youthful, fun, exciting, impulsive and exuberant person I was. What I was left with after 9 months of being a host to this perfect little creation and several months of zombie-walking was definitely not what I started with. Even now, at 9 months postpartum, I rarely venture out of the house after 6pm and feel a bit lost if I have to drive anywhere at nighttime! It’s a different world from the 6am wake ups I am used to now. (Well, as used to as anybody ever gets..) I still have moments where I think back to the person I was before Everest and have some nostalgia.
That being said, I am damn proud that I can belt out Raffi songs word for word, and I’ve memorized THREE whole books by Julia Donaldson (our favourite story writer, you HAVE to read the Gruffalo!). Although with my mind being filled to the brim with songs and stories, I fear I’m not the best company for people who don’t have a young child at home. There’s not much room for anything else in that head of mine these days.
What was your introduction to motherhood like? How did it change you? How are things for you now?
I know for myself, I feel like I’ve definitely become a better person. I’m like a better, nicer (unless I have some notion you might be harmful to my daughter, then watch out..) mushier person. Every story of every single child or baby that I come across feels like it has a live wire connected straight to my heart (and my tears..) and I cry over complete strangers! Another thing? I don’t like buying ANYTHING for myself. It’s all for her, everything.
Also, although I never believed it could be true, my dogs have definitely taken a back seat. I never thought this day would come, but if she’s napping and they bark, I lose my mind. Lose. My. Mind. That being said, I still take ALL THREE DOGS for a hike almost every single day, rain or shine. So in that department I have not fallen behind.
Lastly, although I’m a self-professed introvert, I’m even more so now than ever. I make an effort to get out and do things with friends periodically, but if I had to be honest, my favourite person to spend time with is Everest. Her company is all I want and need. I miss her even when she’s napping and I’m getting some much-needed time to myself.
What about you? Do you crave the company of others or are you a mommy recluse and happy for the time to be just the two of you?
xoxo Everest’s Mom